It's worth THIS just to know Jesus...


Jeff, Scott, Dad and Grant (Scott's son, my nephew) took off this weekend in search of a few gobbling Toms- I won't spoil the surprise and tell you that they tagged out- but I will tell you that honey is headed home tomorrow! They asked me to fill in once again on the blog- hope you don't mind!

This excerpt is from a phenomenal writer, who I admire a lot. I have recently been dealing with a difficult situation that is close to my heart. The pain is strong, the hurt is real. When I read this it just fit- it was such a great reminder. I really don't have much more of an explanation than that. My hope is that it touches you, or someone close to you in their time of trial.

"...It's worth THIS just to know Jesus..."

That was the spoken words of a woman who was in an accident and has lived the rest of her life in a wheelchair.

My mind went back on the things in my own life - those things that have seemed too hard to live through - those things that hurt the most, emotionally often times...

My mind tried to wrap around the undeniable truth that God is the God of my yesterdays and He orchestrated them yes! No, He didn't fall off His throne during those times and give a blind eye to my circumstances, but rather was the God of them.

I have had moments of struggle, still do, where my mind fights the naggings of wanting to re-do, re-live, re-write, OH, to have those years the "locust seem to have eaten!" along the way. The fleshly nagging of "WHY?" The self-pity of hurting, saddened fleshly heart.

Sometimes, the pain of the past is too great to even contemplate. It just brings too much emotional pain. Feels like too much loss, too much regret, or maybe just too much imperfection?

AND YET, for me it has been the pain of yesterdays that has brought me to know my Savior much, much more than I did. And I will, I do say, though weak in heart at times, but Jesus knows I believe, "It's worth THIS/that just to know Jesus."

OH, worth it just TO KNOW JESUS!!!

-----------~ ~ ~

Which brought me to another day, another moment with Him this week where I was absolutely blown away by HIS knowledge of me. Reading in John 2, verses about in the twenties I think...

It says Jesus knows ALL about all people. No person is excluded from his knowledge, and no part of our life is excluded from his knowledge.

He knows everybody—and everything about everybody.

Here’s what Jesus says later on in John 6:64: “There are some of you who do not believe.” And John adds, “For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.”

It's a striking thing to realize even the heart of Judas was open before Jesus. Jesus was not surprised when his betrayal came. Judas was not a surprise to Jesus.

There is nothing in us that is a surprise - He knows all about us.

I had to just let this truth about Jesus sink into my heart. Not that I haven't known and believed this, but there are times where a truth known before becomes more to me... it moves to a deeper level in me.

"If you have ever been impressed with any man’s knowledge about people or wisdom in discerning motives and explaining actions and predicting behaviors—if any character in fiction or person in history or living counselor or scholar has ever impressed you, the knowledge of Jesus should be infinitely more impressive." J. Piper

Discernment is a very important quality to me, and something I admire greatly when I see it in others. It is something I admire more than a lot of qualities. And in my flesh, the lack of discernment - well, there is little that turns me off more.

And to think, God is beyond discernment. He is ALL KNOWING.

I really don't think I, humans, get any sort of grasp of that unless it's supernatural revelation.

The person who matters most in the universe knows most about me! Wait a second. I need to reread that.

And what really does this mean?
It means that there are no complete secrets in my life.
One may have succeeded in hiding something all their life from everyone on this earth.
But it is not hidden from Jesus.
The person who matters most knows most.
The person whose judgment about me and that which is all important, knows all.

I sit here and want that to sink in all over again. I am totally known. Totally.
There is not the slightest part of my heart unknown to Jesus, at this hour, and every hour.

This means that there is always at least one person I must relate to who knows everything about me. This should shape my relationship with the Lord. There is One, who when I look Him in the face - He sees totally through me into the heart of me.

When I relate to Jesus do I relate to Him as one completely laid bare before Him? Totally known?

If so, what an amazing relationship!

So often I feel I want others to understand me, to know me for who I am, to BE understood and not misunderstood, to be seen not through their eyes of judgment, but of love and understanding.

There is One, and only One, who totally knows me. Nobody else even comes close. Nobody.

I like how one preacher put it: "Your spouse’s knowledge of you, or your best friend’s knowledge of you, compares to Jesus’ knowledge of you like first-grade math to quantum mechanics..."

I am fully known by one person, Jesus Christ.

Therefore, I always have someone to go to for help in knowing who I am. Jesus Christ.
There is always one person who knows my heart perfectly. Knows it better than I do. Jesus Christ.
Therefore, I always have a person who is willing to love me, knowing absolutely everything about me.

Jesus Christ.

“To all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12).

If you have received Him - you are His child, there will always be one person who will love you knowing everything, absolutely everything about you. You can say with the disciples in John 16:30, “We know that you know all things and do not need anyone to question you; this is why we believe that you came from God.”

I have felt a passion this week to pray, to want, this glimpse of the glory of the All-knowingness of Jesus Christ... and that it would move me to admire HIM more than anyone, and love and trust Him and follow Him with all my heart, soul and mind.

-A. Ann


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