So many emotions. So many highs and lows. So much anticipation and so much dissapointment. So much hard work. So much pain. Many hours spent talking with God. Many hours experiencing the silence of God. Doubt that God would come through. Doubt that my knees would hold up. Discouragement. Fear that it wouldn't happen. Hope that it would happen. Realization that I had no control of the outcome. Helplessness. No control over the weather. No control over the elk. Trying to maintain a positive attitude. Really sucking at trying to remain positive! I was in a place of utter dependence on God and I wasn't enjoying it very much.
Then there was beauty. There was solitude. There was room for my heart to take a sigh of relief from the normal day to day. Time for my mind to rest. God did speak in moments. Like a wise and loving Father he gave me some advice on how to live. He used situations from the hunt and spoke into those moments to convict me on issues in my life I need to deal with. He encouraged me to keep pushing myself.
By day six I was really beginning to doubt that an elk was going to happen. And I reached a place in my mind that was okay with not filling my tag. Resignation. I really was, I think, at my limit both physically and emotionally. I was missing my family. I was tired. I was frustrated. I was thankful for the good hunt and the good experience but I was a little tweaked that my prayers had gone unanswered.
And then, walking over the 153rd ridge top in 6 days it happened. And it was all worth it.
I think maybe....maybe that is what life is like. Frustration, blessing, defeat, beauty, resignation, hassle. And then you find it. That which is truly life. And then all of the hassles and the exhausting journey to get there become worth it. You end up with set of antlers for the wall and a good story to tell.
Enjoy the video below,